it feels personal. how could it not? the things he’s said and done. the lies he’s told. the pain he’s caused. how could he do that? to me, to our parents, to everyone?
but eventually you realize that’s just what addicts do. it’s not about any of us. it’s about his struggle and his struggle alone. his pain, his ego, his shame, his disease. his need for love, acceptance, and whatever else.
i still miss him, but it makes it easier to understand. he’s just doing what he needs to do right now to fulfill his own needs, and that’s just it. it’s not personal.
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